Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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