Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
