im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats