i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.