He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
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While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.