I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
