My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
