so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
