at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
ttyl tear gas
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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