im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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