Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
