Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
