I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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