i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
