so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
