Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
