He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
