Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
