i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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