Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
