Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
