I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
