Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
