Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize