he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
