This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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