so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
