You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
