dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
