Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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