What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize