No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am full of burrito and curiosity
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I could fuck to npr.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
