Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
