You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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