you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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