i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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