is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
