I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
