that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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