Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
