I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
