I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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