I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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