I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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