there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
