i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
