this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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