So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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