Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
