I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize