haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
