dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
