I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
