sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
