Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
