did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
