i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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