He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
