just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
