Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize