gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize